Dating conversations and tips
When talking about movies, less than 9 percent of the pairs wanted to meet up again, compared to 18 percent when participants spoke about the top topic—travel…
Via Quirkology: How We Discover the Big Truths in Small Things.
In other words, the instant connections were more powerful than many long-term, even lifelong relationships. The questions we chose had nothing to do with the weather and how many brothers and sisters they have, and instead all the questions were interesting and personally revealing (ie., “how many romantic partners did you have? Sadly, this is the only question with a meaningful correlation for women.
But despite all that preparation, the time you’ll spend interacting with each other is still an important variable — one that’s pretty hard to prepare for by yourself.
These questions are key primers, the ones to ask after you’ve said hello, and settled in somewhere comfortable.
Sure, they’re kind of snoozy, but they’ll set the tone for your date, and give you immediate things to talk about: “ 1.
Via Sam Gosling’s book, Snoop: What Your Stuff Says About You: Arthur Aron, a psychologist at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, is interested in how people form romantic relationships, and he’s come up with an ingenious way of taking men and women who have never met before and making them feel close to one another. Instead of talking about the World Cup or their favorite desserts, they shared their innermost fears or told the story of losing their virginity.
Given that he has just an hour or so to create the intimacy levels that typically take weeks, months, or years to form, he accelerated the getting-to-know-you process through a set of thirty-six questions crafted to take the participants rapidly from level one in Mc Adams’s system to level two. In under an hour it can create a connection stronger than a lifelong friendship. Everyone, both sender and replier, was happier with the interaction…What we learned from this little experiment is that when people are free to choose what type of discussions they want to have, they often gravitate toward an equilibrium that is easy to maintain but one that no one really enjoys or benefits from.
If you could be any person for a day, who would it be?
It can be hard to figure out what to ask without making it seem like you're interrogating your date.
After all, the key to a good date is relaxed conversation, and the last thing you want is to recreate the beginning of this scene from But whether you're trying to fill an awkward silence or just trying to get to know your date better, we have you covered.
A foolproof way to ensure that conversation will always be flowing is to simply your date things, although—given the fact that we never know how comfortable others are with casual conversation—that might be easier said than done. Where exactly do you live in [insert your city or town here]? Questions over the first drink should be an equal mix of inquisitive and casual, and should allow you to start gauging his or her true personality.
The trick to successfully vetting a prospect on a first date, while simultaneously keeping the energy light and fun, is knowing what questions to ask and how to ask them. What are their likes and dislikes, what do you have in common, what does he or she do in their spare time?